The problem with numbness is that you're not really without feeling, you can still feel, you feel something its hard and unbelievable. There is a pain that could be from actual hurt, or bliss currently its unknown.
I could very will be mistaking my numbness for happiness so extreme I'm unable to process it properly when I'm actually plummeting again without realizing it.
If i could feel something else, understand what it is I'm feeling, i would be okay...No that's not true. I wouldn't be okay, I would then have to deal with this feeling whatever it may be.
I recently broke up with Ace who I've mentioned previously and spoke a bit about our relationship. Things haven't been great for a while, after 4 yrs of off and on dating I finally ended things a little over a week ago... I'm not sure hoe I feel about this myself, I know there are a LOT of people mad at me right now for ending things, either because they had faith in our relationship or because they helped him through his depression after our last big beak up. And blame me for it....I'm not a horrible person, I'm not trying to hurt or torture someone by making a decision I feel is right in my mind and for the situation.(I won't go into details about it, those who know, know)
I don't want the fake people who are mutual friends talking to me, just to get information out of me, or my friends telling him how happy I am with him give from my life nor telling him things to hurt him this time(i didn't want it last time either)
I really hate thinking about this...
The photos in this post are randoms from my SD card.
