PS1 Report

PS1- sounds much like an elementary school, though with the grave restrictions placed on everything you would think it was one compared to MoMa. Regardless of this I was able to snag some very nice shots of a few good pieces that were by an artist whos work is displayed at MoMa currently; as well as a few from other artist.


The main exhibit of why we were at PS 1 to begin(Huma Bhabha Unnatural Histories) with is what deeply inspired me in many ways. I sketched several of her pieces on displayed and from there whilst sketching a styrofoam sculpture I made an add in of a persona creature and even dedicated a blog post to the piece and made several other persona pieces.

I added all the pieces to my sketchbook portfolio for the BFA. They were utterly inspiring, the one styrofoam sculpture that really inspired me and struck a cord with me had a very boxy design and within I placed my 'persona' . I added colour and shadow to it growing it into something more and allowing something more to spark from it. I can not really explain what it is that this piece was meant to say. However while drawing it the boxy feel mentally opened up this idea of a safe place, not to go to but to hide in.

The piece is shown below in my sketch with my persona creature added in, it is the most inspiring part of the exhibit for me, it sparked my persona series of sketches and illustrations. I saw not anything different with the piece just a place that meant more to me than another person.

( Sketch Version)
(Illustration Version)

It is a bit hard to explain the feelings grasped and seen in this piece, because perception is different for everyone, I do not think anyone else used this piece or felt the same strange connection to it. Of all the pieces I sketched, this one I can honestly say is the most heart-throbbing piece there. Though that is just my opinion.
The piece helped me define my persona a bit better than I previously could.
My Persona:
I feel as if I am always hiding, when drawing first the box complex there was a gap, and mentally I sought a safety in that space. I placed myself as a small creature in that space. I am always trying to hide- not out of shyness but fear. I'm like a persona in a clear box you can't see the box just what is inside, I am hiding or trying to but it is not obvious to those around me.

Photos from PS1

Sweets Adventure!

This evening I went on a sweets adventure with my friend Anna. We went three very awesome places for sweet, La Maison du Macaron, Doughnut Planet, and Maruko Sushi & Tea. The pics below are the treats from the adventure.

Names of Sweets:

Macaron Flavors:

Tahitian Vanilla

Pecan Rum

Pink Champagne

Vesque

K Smith Cookie

Doughnut:

Vanilla Bean Doughnut

Tea:

Passion Fruit Bubble Tea

Extra Yummies at Anna's:

Handmade Chocolate marshmallows

Hell Hot Chocolate in a shot glass ^-^

Passion Fruit Bubble Tea

Extra Treats from Anna's these are super yummy handmade marshmallows, that she ordered and arrived when we got there! they're chocolate, gingerbread, and peppermint the packaging is amazing!!!!

Science and Depression

                  In my science class I feel more alone and ostracized than in any other time at school. Not only am I second rated by my prof. who does not know my name and forgets to count me in the class number for worksheets, but the students literally laugh behind my back like grade-schoolers. It is a lonely and just inescapable feeling, I just want to cry sometimes. I get made a fool out of by the prof. who is more concerned with cosmetology than actual hardcore science. I feel depressed.

            The best way to explain this kind of depression was explained the best in House. "The thing about talking to people about depression is that they get offended or feel obligated to make you feel better." I don't want any one to make me feel better, nor is there a problem with any of my friends-aspects of my life however are very depressing. The only way to get passed it is to somehow find a way through these things and somehow get to a better place in life. It is really hard to deal with because it comes and goes, I'm not sad 100% of the time, nor happy all the time either. It is when I have to change to dealing with the not so great things in my life right now does is come out and I am left feeling less than a little sad.

Time

Time is relevant.
It seems that I never have enough  of it.

Other times I wish that it would slip threw my fingers like fine grains of sand that are gone before I can even feel the sensation of them of my skin.
Recently I have been doing persona pieces and reflecting how my Persona is during those times.
As i draw out my I realized how depressing/depressed i am during most of the day.
If its actually really sad...my train persona is nervous and sad. Science class depressed. My persona in general its just hiding from people,i don't pretend to be someone I'm not, I just hide/want to hide from people.

They just really really suck  I have friends that don't suck.but then others do, i hate it  so much....I'm always trying to hide because I'msimply tired of having to guess who sucks and who doesn't. If I hide away then I won't get hurt by people. That is very silly I know, but very true.
All the time however my persona is hiding.

Where do you fit in hell?/ Hell's Structure in Dante's Inferno

As mentioned in the previous post my English class is currently going through the Cantos of Dante's Inferno. We received our discussion questions last week and one of them asks what circle of hell would you be in based on Dante's structure, most of the class admited to limbo, a few said they would be with the heretics, one said lust. When it came to me (one of the presenters today) I said I would end up in either the lower eighth or upper ninth circle. The class was shocked, honestly I'm not going to lie to lessen my punishment I know I've done wrong.
The eighth circle is for common fraud,i would fit into the lower part where there its a pouch for divisiveness, however in the upper rings of the ninth circle there is a ring for betrayal of a political party/treason in a group.
I have done essentially both of these things. I admit to forming coups to take control of a group as well as politics to control the sway of things.
Ace trends to disagree with it, he says more the last circle of 8 or the first circle of 9 specifically. If you in literal terms had to be placed in a circle of Dante's structure where would you rank yourself? Where would others rank you?
(Ace i ranked with heretics he says circle 5 wrath and sullenness fits him better)
Map of Dantes Hell

Dante's Inferno/Cantos

My western writer's class has an oral presentation section in the beginning of the course, my partner and I are doing ours on Dante's Inferno, Canto X- Heresy. Originally we chose to focus on the last circle of hell because they were for the highest crimes(betrayal of friends, lying etc.) I suggested this to my partner to do our presentation on because in the last year I have experienced so many things from people grouped in that circle. The first as previously mentioned was my cousin(Hina). However in the same year it happened again with another friend who I thought I could trust and was really my friend. Though I am pretty sure many people think that of her, we went to high school together and then the same college and she even lives near me which made for nice rides home on the train in the evening. However she has so many dark things about her and her betrayal runs so deep towards others she calls friend I should not have been surprised when it finally hit me. Her name was Corlette.

In Dante's inferno Dante takes a tour through hell and all its circles, in the beginning circles he finds adulterers, murders and those guilty of sloth. However the deeper Dante is lead through hell the stranger the crimes become, the lower two circles of hell within a guarded city and divided into rings within the circle are the 8th and 9th circles of hell. Here Dante is told and learns the greatest crimes you can commit upon humanity is betrayal of friends. The difference with the people in these circles is that they lie and betray friends yet they know better, there is no naivety in the action only in the assumption that no one would get hurt. I never thought I would have to deal with that because those close to me are not like that, but I should have realized that the way she spoke about other people she pretended to be friends with is how she must speak of me when I am not around, and the same with personal information given.

 

Corlette and I were 'good friends' at one point, and I liked that, she seemed lonely in that same sense a person that it is okay to talk to, however I should have realized that way she betrayed her other friends relflects how she would act towards me one day. I feel sorry for the people that call her a friend mostly because of the personal information she tells about the, the secrets she gave and the horrible things she said about them. Some I feel worse for than others because they genuinely thought she was their friend but she wasn't...I literally know so many things about people I barely speak to because of the things she had said in conversations concerning them. I know about Nadia and Amanda's break up and why it happened, Yesenia, Jelly and Karen's attempt to steal a dress from a major department store, Yesenia's finances when it comes to FASFA, how malicious she thinks Jennifer is, how Kelly cheated in a hall of art contest with Yesenia's help, how Yesenia planned to switch the results of a contest based on the person who made the piece, who has shitty art work, how Keysha is black and not dominican the list goes on and on.

The worst were the things said about people who I would less than an hour before the conversation see her laughing and joking with as if they were the best of friends. I'm not sure who I feel sorry for more , the people she talks about or me for actually thinking she was a friend. I have met and know most of the people she says these horrible things about and honestly...they're not the bitchy, annoying or stupid people she says they are. Her co-worker Jennifer for example is not a bitchy person and tries to just undermine her work schedule, neither is the other person she calls an idiot behind his back yet can't follow any of his political conversations, nor is Steph a disrespect sluty girl. They may have their moments of negative behavior but they're not these vile people she makes them out to be. Honestly she is more vile than anyone else.

It becomes awkward knowing all these personal things about people who I see almost everyday and then pretending not to know what is going on their life. This related greatly for me to the lower circles of hell because it is not just that the people did something wrong like lying, but that they knew it was wrong and it would hurt people and they tried to cover their tracks. I had a conversation with Corlette one day where she specifically asked if I had erased all the conversations we had, because if they ever leaked out a lot of people would be upset. This time I lied- and said yes I did.  When I think back to this 'friendship' I think only now of Canto XXXIV where it is revealed in the lowest final circle of hell are for those that betray their benefactor(Friend) Judas and Brutus are among the most famous there. I intended to use this for my oral presentation but that would require my partner and I to wait a month before presenting it. It seems to make a better blog post in stead.