Prof. Love.

Yesterday I received an email from my fashion business prof threatening to fail me if I make any comment that she feels does not pertain to fashion business because I make people feel miserable because I am miserable. I wrote her a letter explaining to her that I am not miserable and just making other people miserable as I am.
Dear Prof. Love,

     With all due respect you did not receive a reply to your email because there are people who simply can not comprehend certain things, such as depression and mental states. I deduced you as one of them. Your follow up has proven me correct. 

I am not simply miserable because of a major, alone. I am severely depressed. Plain and simple. The major was not the issue the people and the profs. such as yourself are. You don't comprehend that there are things worse than a bad day, week or just unlucky patch of luck.  If I was just miserable or that fake depressed I constantly hear about at school over not being able to buy something or only getting one out of five internships, it would just be a case of me sucking it up and moving on. However I am not that.

Depression is not just some you are sad all time and negative, it comes and goes. When its gone things are relatively stable, when it comes back it hits hard like a freight train at top speed.  I am tired of getting dirty looks from not only my peers but profs. as well for having a negative aspect of life and notfinding joy in vacuous things such as an expansion of an accessories line or the thought of working at a high end brand, not gaining inspiration from a urinal on a podium or ecstatic at the thought of working in team with other people and relying on them for help(people suck plain and simple). I don't want to sit and pretend that I find all these things uplifting and interesting-that would be me lying to myself and everyone else about myself.

I do enjoy fashion merchandising, I am good at it, as well as at customer service, PR, event planning, and marketing/budgeting. These are what I use to bury myself in to escape my depression, the people involved in it at FIT have ruined this for me and caused a new trigger to form over the last two years. I fall into my cycle more easily now, and fluctuate constant due to it. 

The best comparison I can make to form a suitable analogy for you would be Planet Of The Apes. The main character awakes to find himself in a twisted world where he is seen as crazy and incorrect. He spends the entire movie trying to convince everyone of the world he is from how backwards this one is and the promise of a different life if they can escape the world they are in. The people totter around like brainwashed drones isolating him (even the higher ups) and looking down on him for seeing more than what is front of him and knowing more. In the end he discovers that the world he knew is gone replaced by the current twisted one , at this point he loses his mind.

So with all due respect prof Love I have a right to feel something other than happy about my life and I should not have to lie about it to everyone I encounter and play along with their happy world of discussing brands and loving them. 


Thank you,

-Bret Roberson